porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
