in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
