Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
