and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm always down for nudity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
