he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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