I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
