Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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