dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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