Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The power of my boobs compel you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
