Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
