Have you finally orgasmed yet?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
