yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
