i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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