Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
