I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
birth control should be required to get into college
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
