I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's Friday. Sex?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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