well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
