I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
