I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
