I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
