Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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