so explain again why im purple
no
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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