remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
