Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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