It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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