if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
another moral hangover. fuck.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
