I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
