thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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