I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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