You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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