atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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