He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
