do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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