Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
