So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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