i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
please come you make the beer taste better
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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