just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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