Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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