There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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