THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize