We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
