So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
