I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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