he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
