I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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