something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
