i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
