ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
