help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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