apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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