on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
