honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
