She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
