you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
