At least make sure they are 18
Why
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I want to walk on stilts...naked
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
