Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
