As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
