So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
