remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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