oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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