Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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