I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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