I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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