Non-Jews are for practice
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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