i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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