Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
