can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
