New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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