i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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